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Sunday, August 20, 2017

Guys Reveal How They Feel When You Talk About Your Ex In Front Of Them


When youre out on a first datewith someone, conversation topics rarely stray outside the norm of an overview ofyour life.

In order to get to know that person, you want to know their background, job status, and where theyre from. Mundane, I know, but its required in order to decide whether or not theyll receive a golden ticket to date number two.

Besides, its not until date eight that you get to request their social security number.

One subject that is usually completely taboo when wining and dining a potential love interest is your previous dating history.

Yep, thats right. Keep your past with your ex in the past unless you want things to get real weird. Discussions about a former flame are sure to happen, but the first date is neither the time, nor the place for it.

The mere mention, though unintentional, may have your date thinking youre too hung up on your ex. Theres no room for a new romance if the only sentencesleaving your mouth are comparisons to things your ex used to do.

To find out how most guys feel when girls bring up their past relationships on a date, a handful of gentlementook to Reddit to express their sentiments on the topic.

Pro tip: Men just dont want to hear it at least, not yet.

Its all about the context of your conversation.

It’s not a big deal if it’s something relevant to the conversation. We all have a past, I’d rather not pretend that we don’t or lie about. It’s one thing if she tries to shoehorn comments about how well-hung her ex was into every conversation, it’s another thing if we’re talking about what we did in when we were in college and she mentions that she had a boyfriend.

It’s all about context. The older you get, the more partners your SO will likely have had, don’t worry about it.

/u/B0000000BS

This guy thinks discussion of an ex could hint at some lingering feelings.

Dependsif she’s describing being mistreated, I feel bad for her. If she’s talking about good times, I just got a window into stuff she finds meaningful.

If she’s describing how they transitioned from SO’s to friends, I’m thankful to be dating a woman that’s grown enough to

  1. Not automatically cut people off just because they dated

  2. Able to put aside an ended romantic relationship and recognize people as worthwhile friends, even if a relationship wasn’t tenable

Both of these mean that she have a problem with me being good friends with one of my exes currently.

I’ve never had it happen, but if she waxed poetic about an ex, I’d wonder if she was truly over that relationship. It wouldn’t be an issue for me, but I’d pay attention and make sure that our relationship was actually the one she wanted to be in.

/u/Diablo165

Learning about someones past can tell you a lot about that person.

It depends. I believe you can find out a lot about a person by the way they talk about past relationships. How they may view certain actions that a former significant other did. Everything in our past has led up to where we are now so if she learned something about a past relationship, absolutely I want to hear about it.

Now if she’s constantly comparing things to an ex, that would get old quick. I don’t always need to know that her ex hated ketchup on his burger or any pointless info like that

/u/YellowShorts

This guy feels uneasy if an ex is brought up at all.

I don’t want to know about that, makes me uncomfortable

/u/diskempt

This guy would rather not know about your exes at all.

In certain contexts, it’s ok. But mostly, I don’t wanna know/don’t wanna hear about it. It becomes annoying at its least and a big problem at its most.

/u/GreeneRockets

Some advice would be to keep the penis talk to yourself, ladies.

Entirely situational. If she is talking about how big his dick is the yeah I have a problem with that. But one of my favorite things to do is casually shit talking our ex’s, so that’s entirely different

/u/BlackKnivesMatter

If it wasnt requested, then theres no need to bring it up.

If it came up naturally in the conversation, I wouldnt even blink. Our past is a part of us. If it’s constant, unsolicited complaints/comments, I would assume she isn’t over her ex.

/u/naked_avenger

Its a nuanced topic that required the right time and place.

/u/MrGreggle

This guy only wants to hear about your ex if things are about to get serious.

Dating or in a relationship with?

Dating she shouldn’t bring it up except in context of something relevant. If she dwells on it she’s not quite out of the relationship and you need to skedaddle.

If you’re getting serious, it’s good to know in greater detail. Peoples’ past relationships leave their mark on them but also tell you what they value, which is important to know. It also tells you if they’re damaged beyond repair, which sucks but it happens.

/u/KeepersoftheCheese

If you keep bringing up your ex, consider this date to be the firstthe last.

Depends on when, why, and how, of course, but doing it more than on an as-needed basis can get annoying or unpleasant.

Actively comparing me to her exes in an unflattering way is a good way for her to end up single.

/u/Coidzor

This guy raises the red flag the second you start going on about your ex.

Depends on context and if it’s relevant or adds something to the conversation.

We all have a past, I certainly have one. Sometimes there’s a piece of information or funny/interesting story that would fit in to what we’re talking about. Doesn’t bother me at all.

One of the girls I’m currently dating is super laid-back about this kind of stuff (as am I), so we share small stories when they flow naturally.

If someone is constantly talking about their ex, bringing it up at awkward times, providing the same information over and over, or disclosing personal/intimate details I’ll see the flag start going up.

/u/howzerbush

Just dont do it, girls. Its not cool.

It’s not cool. And there’s really no reason to.

/u/getitgotitbueno

These guys will use all that discussion about past relationships to their advantage.

Listen, it’s the best feedback if she talks about good things, make mental notes about things to repeat (if she had a good holiday, good meals etc).

If she says bad things, put those in the list of things not to be repeated.

/u/JonK1980


As long as it is useful information that will aid me in establishing our relationship going forward then I am fine with it. Once I learn about it I dont need to hear it repeated over and over.

“Yes you have issues with your ex and trust issues. I understand, you dont need to bring it up all the damn time”

/u/SandiegoJack

Or if youre this guy, you could just not give a f*ck.

do not care am not your boyfriend right now

/u/Don_Camillo005

By the sound of it, your best bet is to talk about your ex on a first date.

In fact, keep your thoughts about him buried deep underground, under some cement, with a cast iron weight firmly pressed on top.

I hear howdry your chicken is usually makes for some swell alternative conversation.

Read more: http://elitedaily.com/dating/should-you-talk-about-an-ex-on-first-date/1994439/

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