Let's start at the beginning, shall we? One pound of bacon, diced. Or, whatever, just in smaller pieces.
Toss the bacon into a pan and start cooking it. You don't even need to separate it because you can smoosh it up while you cook it.
Toss a pot on and get some water boiling, enough for a bunch of elbow macaroni noodles.
Time to butter a 2-quart baking dish. Don't cheap out here, use some real damn butter. It doesn't have to be expensive butter, but it better be actual damn butter and not margarine or some shit.
Oh yeah, get that thing completely buttered like you're prepping yourself for a night with Paula Deen. Set the dish aside for later.
I prefer the large elbows, but I'm running a little low so I'll supplement with some pansy ass little elbows. Dump these in your boiling water.
I like my bacon a nice mix of crispy and chewy. Not burnt, not ever burnt. This shit right here? This shit's perfect.
What do you do with your bacon drippings? I save that shit for later. You ever cook scrambled eggs in bacon grease? Best shit ever, I swear. One day, Jamie Oliver's going to come to my house and slap me. Until then, greasy fucking eggs.
That pig sure is purdy, ain't it?
Don't forget to stir your noodles. Worst thing ever is when a shitload of them stick to the bottom of the pot and fuck things up for everyone.
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